What WAS New: Nov 12, 1999 - Mar 11, 2000

March 11, 2000: Uechi-ryu Rocks in N.E.!

Over a hundred students and teachers showed up for the third N.E. Regional workout today and everyone had a great day. Michal Aceto and Jayne Kramer did a great job hosting this event. They worked hard calling all the dojo and their effort paid off. Check out the photos by clicking here. Watch for news concerning the 4th N.E. Regionals, which will be hosted by Gary Khoury.

You may have noticed that this site has been acting up lately. Harry Skeffington has been upgrading the server with new Frontpage 2000 extensions and has run into the typical problems associated with this kind of work. However, once he straightens out the missing links we will be back 100%. In the meantime, let me know by e-mail if you are having any difficulties while visiting.

February 23, 2000: Back to Basic Verbal Self Defense!

The Internet relies almost entirely on words to convey thoughts and ideas. This is a new world for most of us. We make mistakes, learn and try to move on. Our ego shouldn't get in the way as we move the process forward.

When I now think about letters, papers, even books that I wrote 10 - 20 years ago, I realize how what was expressed on paper probably differed from what was intended. Have you ever read a letter you wrote years ago and couldn't figure out what point you were trying to convey or how the words had an entirely different meaning now then it did when penned?

With the growth of discussion groups, bulletin boards, eGroup correspondence, chat programs and the expanding popularity of WebEx type on-line business programs, people must learn more than typing to communicate effectively. They must become aware of language protocol that will replace the casual use of words we tend to use when talking face to face. Body language can substitute and compensate for casual, off the cuff verbal conversation. 

When listening to someone talk, people tend to latch on to overall  points rather than individual words. If the conversation isn't being accepted the way it was intended, people will pick up body signals and facial expressions, enabling the talker to make corrections and bring the focus of the talk back on track. 

Our resident Verbal Self Defense expert, Dr. Suzette Haden Elgin, describes the process in this way:

"... The problem is the lack of feedback. . . . but from the written language. When I teach verbal self-defense I am on the alert every second, scanning the room for body language that tells me someone is uneasy or upset or growing belligerent or just not understanding. I work constantly to head off such problems before they occur. In written English I don't have any of those cues; I can't see or hear people; I don't know who's out there and I can't judge how they might be feeling. I'm not always _right_ when I make judgments in an oral language setting, but at least the person is there so that I can try to repair my mistakes. Teaching "blind-and-deaf-and-numb" like this is new to me, and I'm clumsy at it. I'm learning a great deal from the experience, however. . ."

So we are all learning. . . even the experts. Thankfully, we have an intelligent and caring audience, who are enjoying this written medium and who aren't afraid to make mistakes and who are willing to bounce back, much the same way we move from Green to Brown belt! 

We are on the cutting edge of a brand new era of teaching, learning and communicating. For many of us, this means taking a little more time with our written words, reading them a second time and trying to interpret them as our readers will understand them. 

To the visitors who drop in to our Forums, many feel like they are on a totally different Internet. Accustomed to the typical chatter and bulletin board banter, all are impressed with the fact that actual subjects are being discussed and in a way where readers can actually learn something. They feel comfortable about joining in, contributing to the content and at times introducing new topics of interest.

This family style of running the forums is by design. Each of the individual forums has a moderator who has dictatorial powers over his/her home. Guests are welcomed, but can be thrown out if unruly. Occasionally an 'uncle', who is given greater freedom and latitude while visiting, makes a mistake and is gently admonished. Outsiders feel we are operating by two standards, but that is the way families behave. "Guppies" are considered visitors! :)

We are very fortunate in having Dr. Elgin as part of our family. She is at least an 8th Dan in her field. We can take advantage of her skills and willingness to teach or we can pretend that because we can talk, we can communicate. 

The only way we can learn to write and talk effectively with words is with words. Like our karate blocks, there are off-line drills we can practice. Please join me as embark on this new and exciting journey called Verbal Self Defense.

February 19, 2000: Snow shoveling VS Sanchin!

O.K., it's no contest! I got up early this morning to clean off the driveway, hoping that the roads would be cleared in time for me to make the 10AM class at the "Hut"! The sky was clear and for a second I thought the Sun was peeking over the horizon. Just as I pushed the last snow from the walkway, something small and cold hit me in the eye! A snowflake! Then another. . . 

No class! But at least my next shoveling session should be easier than the first and the fresh air and exercise felt great. After sending out a quick announcement to the Shubukan eGroup, I visited the Forums and read all the new posts. One in particular caught my attention. David Moy had written a beautiful essay on the joy of working out. Although I hadn't experienced a Uechi workout this morning, one of the passages defined how I felt as I performed the simple task of shoveling snow this morning. 

". . .Regarding "play" in the arts, I think one of the better responses is in a link I put up a while back where a (ex)JKDer talks about the "aliveness" in the practice. This aliveness is a heightened sense of being fully present in the moment and is equivalent to the talk of the "zone" by athletes. This is the coming together of the mind/body/spirit, a peak experience. . .: David Moy

Ironically, David wrote another wonderful thought concerning the attitude one should bring to an activity, which I also found timely. The words rang true as I looked back at the simple task of moving snow. The trick is to push aside the negative thoughts and to get into the movements. Without thinking about it, I turned the repetitive movements being performed with the shovel, into a kata. Hit - Breath - lift - breath - push - breath - pull - breath! Try it today as you attack that huge snowdrift in front of your house. Floridians. . . eat your heart out!

". . .one should be serious in practice but not so much so that fun or humor is lost in total seriousness. Those who are totally serious are driven and grim. There is an underlying of "want" that can never be satisfied. Such a person will get better but will never reach perfection because perfection can't be achieve. So, such a person is left always a bit unsatisfied, even with those moments of perfection, the peak experiences. . ." David Moy

Gary Geddes is a gifted artist who takes wonderful photographs and designs beautiful martial art jewelry. But like many artists, Gary is usually late in bringing the final product to market. We joke about his Summer Camp photo shoots! "Remember to put film in the camera Gary?" Years after pictures are taken, Gary will show up with a huge album of prints for sale. Unfortunately, many of us forgot what we looked like that long ago and have a difficult time identifying ourselves in the pictures we wish to purchase.

Well guess what. . . Only two and a half months after Christmas, Gary sent me a picture of his latest and most interesting creations. . . A Black Belt Ring! This one would have made a wonderful Christmas present; Even a great Valentine's day gift. (but that was a couple of days ago!) Oh well, it is such a dynamite ring, Black Belts might just purchase it themselves.

Click on the ring to view a fact sheet and/or to order!

Sad to report, Bugeisha magazine is no more. Editor, Angel Lemus reports:

". . .I realize that I have recently brought your hopes up, but out of the need to be perfectly fair and honest, I cannot continue with something that I will not be able to put 100% effort into. This decision was not easy for me to make, and it is very heartbreaking.. ."

I can appreciate all the hard work that went into the preparation and production of a new publication. There is a reason that so few survive more than a couple of issues. Had Lemus Sensei duplicated the success formula of the more popular martial art magazines, his would still be around. Of course, most of us wouldn't be reading it. Unfortunately, there are too few of "us" and way too many kids who buy anything with Bruce Lee's picture on the cover. Angel refused to compromise and the outcome was predictable. As a final Bugeisha gift to the martial art world, Lemus Sensei presents the final edition, which can be found at http://www.bugeisha.net

February 18, 2000: "What business do you have 'dissing' Brockton"?

Not only did I get two phone calls and an e-mail regarding my "Bright spot" editorial, but I also got an earful from Susan, who was upset that I targeted our home town for a verbal thrashing. ". . .You could be talking about any town in the country. . . why single out Brockton"? She asked.

Well, because I live here! 

My primary reason for 'venting' was an encounter I had while trying to drive past a local high school this week. I was on a major road and had a green light. The school had just gotten out, and kids were waiting for busses or waiting for the light to change. Suddenly four kids decided to cross the street into approaching traffic. Once the traffic stopped, they began to "saunter", "high fiveing", and attempting to break a record for the slow-walk!

Schools have always had to deal with troublemakers. You know who they were during your high school days. (I was one in my day!) School administrators and teachers took a different approach to the problem years ago. Their philosophy was: "Get rid of the bad apple before it spoiled the barrel"! 

At some point, the school authorities lost control. I remember how easy it was for one unruly youth to disrupt an entire class. If left unchecked, other kids would join in and chaos was the result. In the 'good old days', the troublemaker was isolated rapidly. . . severely disciplined. . . and sent home where he/she was 'disciplined' again! 

Yesterday I got a bit carried away. . . actually, I wanted to suggest that schools fund traditional karate lessons for kids who are discipline problems or who are having trouble with their grades. I wanted to discuss how effective our karate teachers are in creating an environment of discipline in class. I got off the subject though and before I could finish, it was class time. . .

Back in the late 60's our dojo participated in a study at Lexington High School. Three Harvard Professors set up the experiment and monitored the results. The theory, which I proposed, was that we could improve grades and help teachers who were having discipline problems in their classes. The test was set up in a way that even Dr. "X" would approve:

a. Our dojo put on an exciting demonstration for the whole school.

b. We announced that a karate program would be set up for limited number of students. Interested students were asked to sign up after the demo. Nearly every one of the kids signed up! What the students didn't know, was that the teachers would select the kids who were to participate in the study. They chose all of their students who were a discipline problem and/or who were having learning difficulties.

b. Out of this pool of about 100 students, the professors created four groups from a random draw. One group of 25 took our karate program. One group was to participate in basketball, and one took part in another type of gym course. The fourth group was the control group. They didn't participate in any program.

c. The test lasted for about six months. During that time, the professors interviewed both the students and teachers, monitoring how each group of kids were faring.

d. There were three reporting periods involved in this test. In all three, the kids who participated in the karate program showed dramatic improvement in all areas tested. Teachers were very impressed at how the karate program's discipline carried over to their classrooms. 

Everyone was excited. I thought karate would soon become part of every high school's curriculum. Not to be. . . Turns out our Professors were the ones also performing LSD experiments at Harvard . . . and following a huge investigation, Harvard fired them and halted all projects they were involved with, including our Lexington project.

Although our dojo has participated in other programs since then, none were funded or were treated seriously.

Today, karate dojo are still performing a valuable service for our communities. They provide the discipline that the kids don't get either at home or in their schools. Perhaps we should make another effort to get karate instructions introduced into the school system. It worked once. It could work now!   

February 16, 2000: Bright spot in a troubled town!

Brockton, Massachusetts is not known as the safest city around. In the downtown section, crime and drugs are commonplace. The Feds and State are tearing down the old buildings and replacing them with more court houses, welfare facilities and schools for the thousands of new immigrants and multiplying poor who flock to this area. During the day, downtown streets are filled with teenage mothers, pushing baby carriages while one, two or three more toddlers walk along with their family to the welfare office for their checks. Occasionally a father will be seen in the picture. . . not as a provider for the family, but as a predator who only shows up to share the Government teat. . . then disappears until the family's next payday. Babies are considered profit centers. Young girls are taught by their mothers and peers that the key to freedom and a paycheck doesn't require an education, just a sperm donator. Boys wear notches on their belts for kids fathered. . . a new age status symbol for the poor and disenfranchised.

New schools now comes fully equipped with surveillance equipment, metal detectors and armed guards who protect the teachers! And should a teacher attempt to discipline a student or try to throw a troublemaker out of school, that teacher will find him/her self on the receiving end of a nasty lawsuit, happily initiated by one of the dozen law firms that specialize in frivolous troublemaking and who occupy offices next to the welfare clinics. Kids quickly learn that three babies equal 2.5 times larger paycheck than one baby and that even the worse lawyer can get the state to settle a nuisance suit for a couple of thousand dollars. 

And the newspapers get upset because kids can't read or pass a simple test when they graduate from high school!

Then there is a completely different Brockton, surrounding and attempting to peacefully coexist with the urban decay, crime and apathy that has become known as the "inner city". Here, hard working, middle class families struggle to pay their mortgages, feed, clothe and educate their children. They spend their weekends fixing up their houses and yards. They teach their children by example how to be self reliant, good mothers and fathers. 

On occasion I must drive through the inner city or pass by one of the local schools as the kids head home. At an intersection, the troublemakers walk across the street wherever and whenever they choose. They deliberately walk onto incoming traffic, daring the drivers to try and pass. One must stare straight ahead and pretend not to notice the obnoxious behavior. To say something would result in being spit upon and called the foulest names imaginable at the least. More likely expect a broken windshield or headlight for your indiscretion.

At the beginning of this commentary I promised you a "bright spot".  In a City like Brockton, you learn to stay away from certain sections of town.  But walking into one of the hundreds of businesses located in the 'safe' sections of town makes one feel as though they are in another world. People hold doors for one another, say good morning as they pass. . . in other words, act civilly and politely. Kids and adults living in a civilized society, peacefully and pleasantly coexisting.

I'm not sure is this attitude in common in other cities, where boundaries between safety and danger is only a couple of city blocks. I was raised in a small farming community in Minnesota where you could find every trade in the phonebook except a locksmith! If a kid misbehaved, the parents received a dozen phone calls before the youngster got home. At best, the troublemaker went to bed hungry. More often he went to bed hungry and with a sore behind!  

This is an election year. If you listen to the politicians carefully, most of them continue to advocate throwing more money at the problems affecting our inner cities. They haven't a clue how to reach the youngsters who are currently creating trouble in schools and who, in a few years will be the criminals filling our jails or standing in the welfare line with their two or three 'profit centers'.

The solutions don't rest in the homes.  Too late for that I'm afraid.  Even if the troubled child has a concerned parent or occasionally parents, they are in most cases, helpless. Those same predator lawyers are standing by to sue any parent who dares to discipline their kids. More often though, the parents don't care. . . aren't there. . . are in trouble themselves!

The answer must lie in the schools. Not just building new and improved physical facilities with graffiti proof walls and airport security enhancements, but places where teachers are put back in charge. Dress codes are a beginning. Looking like a hood may be cool, but has no place in a school. Troublemakers must be dealt with severely. Go to school, follow the rules or go to a boot camp facility, where manners and the abc's are taught by experts. Many kids can be saved by being taught manners along with their school work early in their lives. 

Pay the good teachers! Throw some of that welfare money to attract the best. Most importantly, support our teachers as they perform their jobs. All kids deserve an opportunity for an education. The nature of this education should be determined by the individual. Our teachers should not be forced to perform prison guard duty along with their other responsibilities. Kids deserve an education without the pressures of having to deal with peer pressure from the kids who belong in special facilities, with "teachers"  who have the talent, skills and ability to make ladies and gentlemen out of thugs. 

February 7, 2000: Happy Chinese New Year!

I received the following e-mail this morning that you might enjoy: GEM

February 2, 2000: Entering a new age of cooperation?

Everyone who participated in WinterFest2000 really enjoyed themselves and learned lots of new and exciting martial art concepts which they will use to help them make their Uechi-ryu better. We have already began planning for 2001. David Berndt, our Orlando host, has come up with a most appropriate name for next year's event: 2001 WinterFest: A UECHI-RYU ODYSSEY! Has a nice ring to it. . . David will be working on arrangements, which will include packaging hotel and travel accommodations from the airport.  

I don't think anyone can take credit for the tremendous interest in seminars, camps and the whole idea of 'cross training'. Certainly our Summer Camps, beginning in 1983 had to be at the cutting edge of this new age of exploration.  The idea of barricading a dojo against outside influence is dead. Before the carcasses rot, students will rebel and seek teachers who themselves continue to learn, rather than fortify their existence with their dusty diplomas and stories about their 'true source' of unquestionable knowledge. And as I've said many times before, this process of exploring is a lot closer to what Kanbun experienced in China than what his worshippers are trying to preserve today.   

Don't forget to visit the Forums. Check out our new "Verbal Self Defense" discussion area for tips on how to avoid confrontations. . . which should be part of what we study and teach. 

January 16, 2000: "Words hurt", Part 1001

Since beginning this website in 1995, I've learned lots of techie terms and a lot about the nuts and bolts involved with the creation of a site.  However, reaching people and getting them to interact are two entirely different problems. In the first case, you create an interesting place where people visit on regular basis. Either you have a message to get across or a product to sell. Any feedback is focused on obtaining specific information on your readers, to make your job of selling or informing, more effective.

Then you have 'interactive' sites, where the object is to get as many people together as possible. Mostly these people have similar interests. There are many more viewers than posters. The company sponsoring these sites try to make money from advertisers who pay to reach the eye of these participants and lurkers. For the most part, these open discussion groups are not moderated and the posts consists of a few unintelligible words mixed with at least 50% profanity.

The advertisers don't really care what is said on these discussion pages or how it is said. The money these people pay for their products and services don't contain a printout of  the consumer's intelligence, moral character or juvenile behavior. It's just a sale!

Obviously these groups have an endless supply of potential visitors, replacing those who leave feeling cheated and a bit soiled after reading the contents. So who cares if a site forever turns off a thousand people a day. . . another five thousand will log on and take up the slack.

When a site like ours develops a discussion board, or in our case over twenty, we take a big gamble. With a finite audience, we cannot afford to alienate people who visit. Left unchecked, we would lose our entire audience within six months. Those that remain will not have anything of interest to say or an audience to entertain.

Hence our rules and guidelines. Essentially the 'golden rule'. But more importantly, we have a very strict policy of "Talking about issues, not personalities"!   Deviate from this policy and our forums will slowly deteriorate into another sleazy board. And this site will disappear along with the forums.

Because of the heated battle last week between Sifu Richard Mooney and Dr. Morenski regarding the subject of 'empty' force, I would like to once again ask the participants to re-read their posts and edit them so that the topics reflect discussion of issues rather than personalities. I know that many people wanted to ask Rich questions, but didn't because they were concerned that their questions would be taken personally instead of from a genuine interest to learn.

I wanted to participate, but found that anything I wanted to say would be interpreted as siding with Rich or J.D. and not the simple question initially posed.

Both Rich and J.D. are intelligent and sensitive individuals who are passionate in their beliefs. But in these encounters, information and discoveries get lost in emotional browbeating once personalities instead of issues become the focus.

We have weathered storms before and emerged stronger for the experience. Hopefully the participants in this encounter will take a deep breath and follow the guidelines of our forums before hitting the 'submit' button.

January 12, 2000: Well, it looks like we made it through the New Year without any cyber disasters. An outage on the Uechi-ryu.com site for about 20 hours did have me a bit concerned. However, Harry reports that someone simply removed or kicked an outlet plug from the server by accident. Guess that could have happened prior the new millenium as well.

How many of you have been kicking yourself for missing out on the Internet stock opportunities? According to the press, the Internet is responsible for creating millions of new millionaires. Of course a million doesn't go as far as it used to, but many of us would be happy with this lowly sum of money!

Ironically, I was asked by an investor what my views were regarding Microsoft and AOL back in the mid nineties. He had just purchased quite a few shares of both companies and was looking for reassurance. Naturally I told him these companies were doomed to fail! I remembered my first experience with Windows and my first attempt to use AOL. A few of you may remember how difficult these programs were and how the 'experts' were all predicting their demise. Fortunately my friend didn't listen to me and kept his shares in these companies and joined the ranks of new millionaires these companies created.

I joined the ranks of those who knew too much about the technology at the time, who predicted that people would not use windows or sign up for a wimpy service such as AOL. A good example of 'too much information'!

Hopefully most of you didn't make that mistake!

On the forum front: Bob Campbell, whose eagerly awaited return has been delayed for months by other priorities, has once again promised to devote time to his 'Keeper of the Dragon's Beard' forum. Watch for him.

Our forums would not be complete without discussions pertaining to 'Verbal Self-defense'! I happen to believe that all martial artist should be aware of how their words can defuse an argument or intensify one. I am very pleased to report that Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D. (linguistics), from the Ozark Center for Language Studies, will be moderating our newest forum concerning 'Verbal Self defense' beginning February 1st. I was trying to compose an introductory post on Suzette, but found that she says it best on her own website. I'm reprinting the first page here. I hope you enjoy her approach to self defense and will find it useful in life. GEM

WORLD VERBAL SELF-DEFENSE LEAGUE

After 25 years of research and development, the league was established in 1997 by Dr. Suzette Haden Elgin to introduce...

The Martial Art of Verbal Self-Defense


quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the highest skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest skill." -- Sun-Tzu --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LESSON ONE

INTRODUCTION

Why You Need to Master Verbal Self-Defense

When you have mastered physical martial arts skills, you're well prepared for physical conflict. If muggers try to attack you on the street, if you find yourself involved in a fight in a bar or at the beach, if you see someone physically abusing a weaker person, you're ready and able to deal with that. You're also prepared to demonstrate your skills in tournaments and exhibitions. That's all to the good -- but it's not enough.

Stop and think, please. Ask yourself just one question:

"How often am I likely to get involved in physical combat and conflict?

How often does physical fighting come along in my life?"

For most people today, the answer will be that you very rarely need your physical combat skills except when (and if) you take part in tournaments and exhibitions.

But that doesn't mean that you never are involved in conflict. On the contrary! Unless you're very unusual, not a day goes by that you don't find yourself fighting with other people. It's just that the conflict is verbal instead of physical. When your boss chews you out unjustly, the fact that you could have him down on the floor begging you for mercy in seconds is no use to you. When somebody shoves in front of you in a line, your physical skills are no help. When the fight is with your spouse or your teacher or your parents or your kids, it makes no difference how many kicks and holds and moves you know. In the vast majority of verbal conflicts -- which today means the vast majority of all conflicts that occur in your life -- using your physical martial arts skills will get you fired, or arrested, or both.

Even if you work in a field where the potential for physical conflict is much higher, such as law enforcement or emergency medicine, you're rarely free to respond to a physical threat physically. To do that always means risking citizen complaints, malpractice suits, and similar problems. You may have to do it, but it's not going to be your routine first response, and you're going to have to be extremely careful.

For every incident of physical violence that goes on in this country today there are hundreds of incidents of verbal violence. Sane people who aren't criminals don't just walk up to others and start hitting -- which means that almost 100% of physical conflict starts out as verbal conflict. First there is an argument. First there are hostile words, or hostile body language such as shrugs and sneers and insulting gestures. Only then, after the hostile language, do people start hitting. And up to that point -- up to the moment when physical combat begins -- what you need is verbal self-defense.

There are two goals in verbal self-defense:

** To establish and maintain a language environment around you,

by your own behavior and by the power of your presence, in

which verbal violence almost never happens.

** To be able to deal with verbal violence -- on those rare occasions when it really cannot be avoided -- efficiently, and effectively, with no loss of face on either side.

This is the martial art of verbal self-defense. You might not have needed it in past centuries. You might not need it in parts of the world where life is brutal and violent for almost everyone. But in the Western world today, you do need it. Without it, you're not "ready for anything"; you're only ready for things that may not happen once a year. And the rest of the time, you are in the same situation with regard to verbal attacks that people who know no martial arts are in with regard to physical ones: dependent on blind luck to get you through. That's not safe, it's not necessary or sufficient, and you can do far better. Let's begin....

The Four Basic Principles of Verbal Self-Defense

First Principle: Know that you are under attack.

When an attack is physical, you never have any trouble spotting it; you know immediately when someone hits or kicks or shoves you. You can feel the attack directly, If other people are around, they will usually have seen and heard the attack too, and they'll agree with you that it was an attack. Often there'll be physical evidence in the form of bruises or cuts, to back up your claim.

Verbal attacks are very different. Not that you can't feel them -- you can. But the feeling is what we call a gut feeling; it's not like the pain from a punch or a kick or a slap, for which you could always say exactly where the blow fell. And it's often very hard to spot the actual move the attacker has made. Because...

For English, verbal violence isn't in the words:

It's in the TUNES the words are set to.

We can say any sequence of English words, no matter which ones we choose, in a way that is hostile and brutal. We can say any sequence of English words in a way that is friendly or loving. The emotional messages of English are carried by the tunes we set our words to, not by the words themselves. You may have thought that it would be easy to spot verbal violence because the attacker would be using obscenities and open insults and calling you ugly names. That's false, for three reasons.

1. Most people who attack in that way do it as part of a physical attack.

2. It's perfectly possible to set obscenities and "insults" and ugly names to friendly tunes.

3. Most verbal attackers are careful to choose words that will leave them able later to use this move: "But all I SAID was.....", followed by the same words spoken with a different melody.

In other lessons we'll come back to this question of the tune that words are set to. For right now, what's important is to remember that if what someone says to you gives you a gut feeling that you've been attacked, you should pay attention to that feeling, no matter what words were used. You know the melody of English verbal violence; it's as much a part of the language as any word is, and when you hear it, you recognize it.

Written English isn't very good at showing the tunes that go with the words, but we do have a few ways to at least make a stab at it, and we'll be using them in these lessons. Compare these two sentences, where some words are in all capital letters to show you that the person saying them is really bearing down on those particular words to give them extra emphasis.

"Why do you eat so much junk food?"

"WHY do you eat SO MUCH JUNK food?"

Notice: Those two sentences have exactly the same words, but they don't mean the same thing at all. "Why do you eat so much junk food?" is just a question, asked by somebody who wants to know the answer. It may be a rude or nosy question, it may be a question you'd refuse to answer -- but it's not an attack. The other sentence is very different. Someone who says "WHY do you eat SO MUCH JUNK food?" to you has absolutely no interest in your reasons for eating junk food. That sentence is not a question, it's an attack. And it would still be a verbal attack if it looked like this: "Sweetheart, WHY do you eat SO MUCH JUNK food?" When the tune is violent, throwing in a few "sweethearts" and "dears" doesn't cancel the violence. Don't let "sweet talk" added to a verbal attack confuse you. Verbal attackers will try hard to tell you that you're just being childish, that you're being "too touchy," that you're only imagining things, that "all they SAID was..." something completely innocent. You are a native speaker of English; you know when you are under verbal attack because you feel it, in exactly the same way that you feel it when somebody hits you. Don't be confused: Know that you are under attack.

Second Principle: Know what kind of attack you are facing.

When you find yourself in a physical fight, you automatically size up your opponent. You make judgments about your opponent's strength and motives and goals. You need to do exactly the same things with verbal attacks. Ask yourself these questions:

** How strong and skilled is this person who's attacking me?

** Why is the attack happening? What would be the reason behind it?

** What is the goal of this attack? What is the attacker trying to accomplish?

When an attack is physical, you can pretty well judge the person's strength by just looking. Almost always, attackers who are children or elderly people, or who are sick or handicapped, will also be weak. You can't rely on such things with verbal attacks, because they don't require physical strength. A very small child, a sweet-looking elderly woman, a frail-looking elderly man, a person lying sick in bed -- such people can be very good at using verbal violence. Don't let appearances mislead you.

As for the motives and goals, sometimes they will be as mysterious as they are in physical attacks. But stop and think, when an attack happens; you may be able to figure it out. You can tell the difference between a person who's just picking a fight because he's bored, and one who's attacking because somebody else just chewed him out and he needs to take that out on somebody. You can tell the difference between a person who's attacking because she's showing off and one who's attacking because she's so tired and worried about something else entirely that she doesn't really know what she's doing. As you practice your verbal self-defense skills you will learn to recognize many different types of attackers and attacks.

Third Principle: Know how to make the defense fit the attack.

Suppose somebody hits you and you realize that it's because they're just totally out of control and scared and hitting out without even knowing why they're doing it. You don't come back at that person with the same physical force that you'd use if somebody came after you personally with the goal of doing you serious damage. When a confused person who's had too much to drink swings at you, you handle that differently than when the attacker is someone with a clear mind. You don't hit someone who is only half as strong as you are with the same force as someone that you know is your physical equal. In physical combat you honor the rule about not using elephant guns to shoot butterflies. In verbal self-defense, you follow exactly the same principles.

Fourth Principle: Know how to follow through.

You might think that this would be the easy part. It's not -- it's the hardest of the four principles to follow. The reasons for this will become more clear in later lessons, as we study different attack patterns and responses. For now, just remember that nothing is harder than learning to do something differently from "the way you've always done it" -- and the chances are good that the way you've always handled verbal abuse is all wrong. On page 37 of their excellent book, Aikido in Everyday Life, Terry Dobson and Victor Miller wrote that "Fighting back is one of the most counterproductive responses in most conflict situations." That is even more true in verbal conflict than it is in physical conflict. What verbal attackers are usually trying to do is prove that they can get and keep your total attention, even if you had other plans for the time involved. They may have additional goals, but the main thing they want is your attention and the emotional charge that comes with it. If that attention comes in the form of fighting back, that's okay; the attacker will be delighted. If it comes in the form of one of the other two ways our society teaches us to handle verbal abuse -- pleading ("Oh, PLEASE don't start that!") or debating ("There are four reasons why you shouldn't say that to me. First.....") -- the attacker will happy settle for one of those, too.

Your natural tendency when someone starts using hostile language at you is to respond by counterattacking or pleading or debating, depending on the situation and your personal style of language behavior. The temptation to do that is very strong; the habit of doing that is very strong. However, when you do it you are giving the attacker exactly what he or she wants. If the attacker can get you to do one of those things and surrender your total attention, the attack has succeeded. In this course you will learn a set of verbal self-defense strategies and tactics that will make it possible for you to keep that from happening.

A Sample Verbal Self-Defense Tactic

Let's close this lesson by looking at a very simple, but very effective, verbal self-defense tactic, so that you can see what the term means. Let's say that your attacker is Bill, a man who works where you work, and he comes at you with that line about eating junk food. He expects you to take his bait and come roaring back at him, so that he can tie you up for fifteen minutes in a stupid argument. He expects something like this dialogue:

Bill: "WHY do you eat SO MUCH JUNK food?"

You: "What do you mean by THAT? I don't eat any more junk food than anybody ELSE around here!"

Bill: "Oh, YEAH? What about that DOUGHnut I saw you eating this morning? You call that HEALTH FOOD?"

You: "Listen, what I eat is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

Bill: "Pretty touchy, aren't you? I'd be touchy, too, if I kept stuffing my face with pizza and candy bars and FRENCH fries all day long every day, the way YOU do!"

You: "Now WAIT a minute! YOU--"(And so on.)

Don't give Bill that satisfaction. Instead, do it this way:

Bill: "WHY do you eat SO MUCH JUNK food?"

You: "I think it's because of something that happened to me when I was just a little kid. We were living in Detroit at the time, and... No, wait a minute. It couldn't have been Detroit, it must have been when we were living in Indianapolis. Because that was the summer that my Aunt Grace came to visit us and she brought her dog...."

You see how that works? It's called "The Boring Baroque Response," and it is one of the most useful all-purpose verbal self-defense moves. The metamessage it delivers -- the message behind the actual words you say -- goes like this:

"I understand that you want my attention, and that your plan is for me to spend the next fifteen minutes in a stupid argument with you. I won't play hat game, but I won't just abandon you. I'll give you some attention, since that's what you're after -- but it won't be any fun. It will be horribly, excruciatingly, boring."

If you do this right -- which means that you do it neutrally, without being sarcastic, or setting your words to any other hostile tunes -- most verbal attackers will give up and go away before you get very far into a Boring Baroque Response. They may say, "Oh, FORGET it! Never MIND! SHEEESH!" as they go; that's okay. What matters is for them to go on their way instead of wasting your time and energy. And if every attempt they make to attack you verbally gets a Boring Baroque Response, they will soon learn that you are absolutely not going to be their verbal violence partner and they'll give up.

The Boring Baroque Response isn't right for every situation. If your boss comes at you with "WHY are YOU LATE every single morning? WHY can't you get here on TIME once in a while?", answering with a BBR is only going to make matters worse. But there are many attacks for which it is the perfect move. It's a good first tactic to learn.

And there you have it!


The first simple, but very effective lesson in. . .

The Martial Art Of Verbal Self-Defense.

If you would like more information about verbal self-defense, click on the FAQ link at the bottom of this page, write us at OCLS, PO Box 1137, Huntsville AR 72740-1137, or email us at ocls@ipa.net.

To view the OCLS catalog, just click the catalog link. http://www.worldvsdleague.com/catalog.html

December 28, 1999: The kid in the diaper is moving in!

Three more days to what many will consider a new millenium. However the experts spoil all the fun by pointing out there wasn't a '0' year and therefore technically we should wait until 2001 to celebrate. How are you spending your New Year's eve? I know lots of my friends are spending a quiet evening at home with their families. Susan and I are planning an early dinner with friends and will watch the New Year come in on the Internet and TV. I'll have my FireTalk hooked up and the Uechi site 'launched', so any of you who would like to say hello, please drop in.

This has been an amazing year for the Internet and our Uechi site. The Forums has continued to grow at a rate of 15 - 20% a month. Our 'lurker' count exceeds a thousand people a day and surprisingly, most of our new posters are from other styles.

Although many 'traditionalist' (or lotus eaters to the 'realist') decry our straight talk and questioning attitude, this site has become a focal point for rejuvenating the traditional martial arts. Too many of the 'head in the sand' teachers blindly study and teach what was spoon fed to them 10 - 20 - 30 or even 40 years ago. They practice and teach as robots performing familiar movements. Instead of calling it Dance, they rigidly embrace their workout as 'traditional', and fully believe because they blindly replicate movements of their teacher, they will be invincible on the street!

Largely thanks to Van Cann Sensei and other forum moderators, the people who visit our site have had their faces rubbed into a healthy dose of reality. Like it or not, Van and his associates have brought the traditional styles into the modern world by forcing us to evaluate what we do honestly and without the filters of cult-like complacency and reliance upon god-like Kanbun icons.

The Forums have attracted a devote following of independent thinkers and creative practitioners who are not looking to replace traditional martial arts, but who are looking to preserve the old arts by interpreting them in a modern manner. Ironically, through this process, we are probably returning closer to the original way Kanbun and his associates practiced and taught.

Truthfully, the martial arts enjoyed a thirty year hibernation period where it languished in a time capsule. The focus was on preserving ritual. Fortification and testing of skills were relegated to tag tournaments where unrealistic technique, application and mindset were encouraged and rewarded. Dojo emphasis focused on business, with the Gloria Stephen's Health Club and Fred Astair Dance promoters morphed into M.A. enterprises whose emphasis was on helping willing dojo signing up students instead of teaching good martial arts.

With the introduction of UFC, full contact karate, Tai boxing, shoot fighting etc, etc, etc, the traditional martial arts suffered a tremendous public relations upset. To offset the bad publicity and dwindling enrollment, traditional dojo flocked to every new hyped method that the public seemed enthralled with. Dojo that formally had traditional classes 100% of the time, now resembled a health club, with its revolving schedule of today's latest and hottest fads.

Because the traditionalist lacked confidence in what they were doing, they quickly latched onto the newest guru and his/her formula for health, self defense and wealth. Instead of fortifying their dojo, they became competition for every gym in their area. They no longer were offering something unique and special. They were just another health club, offering the latest flavor of the month program.

Since Van began his Forum, I have seen a subtle yet steady return to the old values of our traditional martial arts by the participants. The key, as I see it, is not to adopt every method that warrants a full page ad in a comic book, but to keep the unique and traditional martial art you have studied and are now teaching, relevant and fresh in today's world. This doesn't mean changing the kata, but it does mean practicing and teaching the kata as a living and evolving process. Instead of enslaving yourself and students to the ritual of the kata, look at the kata as a multi layered formula for accomplishing infinite goals. The most important element in this formula in YOU. The kata or style can only exist because of you.

In the coming year, lets return to the job of rebuilding the traditional martial arts. Gain confidence in your specific style. Study other styles and methods. . . not to diminish your respect or confidence in the traditional, but to expand your understanding and to increase your appreciation in the 'old ways'.

To all: Have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!

December 24, 1999: Happy Holidays!

'99 has been quite a year. Seems as though Summer Camp was just last week! Didn't the expression y2k just appear a month or two ago? How could the 2 year warranty on my computer run out. . . Didn't I just get it running properly last week? And there must be something wrong with my mirror. . . it reflects an image of person who resembles my father more than the person I see in my mind. Certainly there should be lots more hair with far less grey in it. Anyone else feel that time is moving too quickly?

Thanks to everyone who has helped make this site so popular. I couldn't have done it without the support of many wonderful people. A website may as well be a billboard in the desert without all of the great people who visit here on a regular basis and who contribute interesting articles, photos and post regularly on our forum. Thank you all!

Susan and I wish you all a very happy holiday season. Be well and train hard.

December 12, 1999: New Line, old performance!

Although I don't believe in witchcraft, magic or evil spells, I find that my computer works longer if I keep my toes crossed!! For some unknown reason, my screen locks up every 15 - 20 minutes. This makes editing documents a bit frustrating. However I've learned the importance of backing up my work. The DSL line works great though!

The December mailbag was posted this morning, albeit in a much shorter format. If I can straighten out my computer problems, I'll post more of the November mail in January's mailbag.

In spite of the technological advances made over the past few years, computers remain as unreliable as the old American 60-80s cars. Hopefully the computer industry will learn from the auto industry and begin manufacturing dependable product. I get at least one e-mail a day from someone who has been out of touch due to a computer failure. 

Keep the WinterFest registrations coming in. Get out of the cold weather and join Van, Raffi, Gary and me in Orlando Florida in January.

Also, don't forget to load FireTalk. It really works. (providing your computer is working!!)

Later.....

December 9, 1999: Installing a new DSL line tomorrow.

This will save me at least an hour a day on-line. Waiting for slow connections, getting cut off every 20 minutes is no fun. In the meantime, I wanted to let you all know that Susan just received a large order of really nice Sweat shirts and Polo shirts with Uechi or Dragon logos. If you order this week, we guarantee delivery before Christmas.

Only $45 for the Sweatshirt, $35 for either short or long sleeve Polo shirt. (3 button collared)

December 5, 1999 "Lets Talk!"

Just completed the installation of the FireTalk Voice system for our website. This means that anyone visiting any page or feature of our site will be able to talk with one another while viewing the site. I've tried other voice systems and they are all unstable and difficult to use. FireTalk is simple, reliable and works fine with even a 28k modem. You will need a microphone and speakers and you must install the program. Go to the instruction page to find out how the program works and how to set it up on your computer. I promise that you will like it.

I hope through the use of this program, we will be able to set up conferences and chat sessions. Anyone interested in heading up this program???

The forums are growing by leaps and bounds. The word is spreading about what a great place this is to discuss serious subjects in a serious manner. Although we also have a reputation for having a sense of humor, the topics are important and relevant for students and teachers. I'm working on lots of new ideas for 2000. Hope to hear from you with your ideas.

November 28, 1999: Taking the big step!! Reformatting my hard drive!

Having exhausted all options, I've decided to embark on one of life's most difficult journeys. . . reformatting my computer's hard drive! For Tony, Allen and the rest of our 'techies', this may seem either unnecessary or a simple procedure. But to the average person, tampering with the innards of our computer is akin to performing brain surgery. Even though I've backed up everything and am confident that I should be able to reassemble my computer within eight hours, there remains those nagging doubts!

I'm mentioning all this, in case I don't answer your e-mail promptly or don't participate in the forums for the next couple of days. Worse case, I'll use Susan's laptop to check in.

The main reason for performing the ultimate 'fix' on my Toshiba, is that I want everything to be working 100% when my new DSL internet connection is installed sometime in December. I figure to save at least one hour a day with this new, high speed service. Who wants to have all that power wasted on stupid computer problems!

Just finished reading my November, 1999 issue of Martial Arts Professional. Excellent editorial by John Graden regarding 'What is traditionalism and what is simply outdated"! Must reading for every teacher. Graden's focus on teacher certification is commendable. As I've so often stated, if we don't work together establishing realistic standards for our industry, the government will!

Jonathan Mitman has volunteered to update the Kid's Web. Jonathan, who just earned his Jr. Black Belt last Sunday, has created a whole new look for the Kid's site, including a moderated Forum and other features to be announced. Besides Uechi-ryu, Jonathan is an avid Professional 'Rasslin' fan. I understand that he plans to discuss a few 'rasslin' techniques on his site, comparing them to techniques he has learned in Uechi-ryu. Hmmm, sounds interesting.

In my never ending quest to figure out a way to finance this site and the time spent working here, I've expanded the Store to include a full line of gifts that can be purchased on-line. The selection and prices are the best to be found on the Internet and certainly a lot better than can be found at your local Mall. Please support this site by making your Christmas gift purchases here.

November 23, 1999: My thanks to Louis Rivers and Jenn Merryman for redesigning the front page of our Uechi website. We are still fine-tuning parts of it, like the background color, but because of Louis and Jenn's work, the site should load a lot faster and will definitely make new edits much easier for me.

Check out  David Berndt's new website, featuring his Orlando Uechi dojo. Our 'WinterFest' at David's dojo is growing nicely. Looks like we will have a full compliment of teachers from many martial art systems. Please register early to insure a spot. (David's dojo is limited in size)!

Congratulations to all the new dan ranks. NAC had it's regional promotional Sunday, which was hosted by Sensei Ed Huff. Thanks to Sensei Canna for attending. Also thanks to Canadian teachers David Hunt and Duncan Macleod who was able to drop in to wish the candidates good luck.

Nov 14, 1999: Evan Pantazi's "Tribute to the Masters"

Evan Pantazi's "Tribute" was as much a tribute to Evan's hard work and to his popularity within the martial art's community as it was to the seniors he honored. In our fragmented and often confusing segment of society, it was nice to see so many divergent martial artist being able to get together and share their talents with one another. Not once did I hear anyone boast about how tough their style was or tales of individual or stylistic superiority. Just 175 men and women eager to expand their knowledge of the martial arts.

Everyone has heard of Leon Jay, Remy Presas, Ed Melaugh and George Dillman. They truly are the pioneers of a new breed "Americanized" martial art. Strongly based on traditional Asian arts, their styles have evolved into new highbred systems, retaining individual stylistic basics while incorporating shared root elements that make what most dojo practice appear quite primitive.

Watching and working with the presenters was a rewarding experience. I can't count the number of times I found myself saying, "Yes, I can see how that relates to Uechi-ryu". Participating in this workshop was like discovering a dictionary of lost martial art definitions, enabling the practitioners to understand formally obscure movements and techniques with a completely new level of understanding.

The demonstrations were nothing short of phenomenal. You haven't seen Jujitsu until you watch Ed Melaugh effortlessly control his opponent with surgical precision and ballet-like grace. Leon Jay, like his famous father Wally, is a gifted martial artist with a sense of humor and effective teaching style. Remy Presas is a quiet yet formidable fighter. Watching him and his students work with sticks and knifes make the impossible appear simple. George Dillman is an enigma. You either love him or hate him. He is the person credited with the popularization of the art of Kyushu. He freely states that many people have helped him along this controversial road. Regardless of whether you choose to explore your system using the Dillman roadmap or not, you cannot help but sense he is on to something and that at some point in each style's history, students knew and practiced what he has discovered. Perhaps the secretive nature of the martial arts and the potentially dangerous nature of the techniques resulted in the modified and watered down versions of what is being practiced today.

Rediscover of the hidden layers of our martial arts has been a difficult and long journey for Dillman. It is obviously a journey that is not completed or not without it's flaws. But after meeting with him and spending a couple of days watching him in action, one has to marvel at his energy, sincerity and dedication to the job at hand. One senses that if anyone can unravel the ancient secrets of the martial arts, Dillman is the man!
Thank you Evan, for including me as part of the "Tribute". I will always remember this evening and the kind words you said during the presentation. Looking forward to working with you once again at Camp2000.

Also, my personal thanks to all the Uechi students who showed up to support the event. Especially to Gary Khoury, Bobby Spoon and Margaret Chojin who performed a spectacular Uechi-ryu demonstration during the evening festivities Click here to view pictures of the event.